Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize