i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
