They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
