I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
