I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
