No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
