she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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