if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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