So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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