it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
