seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
