haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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