glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
So many bounce houses so little time
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
