just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
