Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
