You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
