Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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