Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
