Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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