Girls should come with a carfax report
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
