My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I didn't notice because vodka
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
