It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
