Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
