Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
