I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
