can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i need some magic done to my vagina
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize