i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
