Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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