i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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