I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
please come you make the beer taste better
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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