Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize