Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
