I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
