either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
