theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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