Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize