Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
