We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
