so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
