Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he told me I talked like a deaf person
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize