I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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