About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
