i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
