he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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