white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
