the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
