oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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