my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
