The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize