i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
