I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
