Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
