There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
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I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Please don't give away my fajitas
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