fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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