meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize