ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
