I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I will pee on everything he values.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
